Take a fresh look at your lifestyle.

My advice for men who want good legacy after their departure- Abimbola, ace-broadcaster Kola Olawuyi’s widow

Although the sudden death of ace broadcaster, Chief Akolawole Olawuyi, dealt a big blow on his teeming audience, colleagues and the nation as a whole, no one could have felt the impact more than his wife and children, who were most intimate with him. His wife, Mrs. Abimbola Olawuyi, spoke with YEMISI OLUSINA on life without her husband and how she has been able to keep his dream on till date.

When you cut your hair after your husband’s death, was it in obedience to some tradition or just by your own instinct?

He was from a Christian home and none of his parents or members of his family believes in such doctrines. They never suggested it, it came on my own volition. It was my own way of respecting him as the crown of my head that death suddenly snatched away. The new-look was dedicated to him still as a way of showing my feeling. It was not easy. I did many things apart from this.

READ ALSO:Afenifere: Adebanjo, Odumakin not working for Yoruba interest – Olasoji, ex-lawmaker

What other things did you do?

It may sound funny and crazy but I tell you that was the way I felt then. We were both young when he died and no one expected it. Besides, he had been sick sometime before then that everyone thought he was going to die but he did not die. This one just came like common malaria, complaints of general body weakness and we all just felt he needed some time off work since he was a workaholic and believed so much in his work. He even went to the hospital from work and gave his subordinates orders on what to do. He still produced that day before going to the hospital, it didn’t look like anything serious but we did not take it with levity. We both knew he needed rest and so we opted for the hospital. We were always together  He never hid anything from me when it comes to the job. He was passionate about it. It made him happy and he carried me along all of the time. I had followed him on several occasions on his investigative spree, just to tell you the level of our closeness. It went beyond husband and wife, father and mother. We were each other’s friends, companions and confidants. When he died, it appeared like a joke. I was sure he was going to wake up. I tried all I could but God had His way and I cannot but give Him all the praise because He owns him and all of us. There is nothing we can do when He decides to take one away. It’s like what the Bible says about the rapture, two will be going to the farm, one will be taken to heaven and the other will be left. Honestly, that was how it was and so, taking all that in was one bitter pill to take but since it was a pill, it must be swallowed. So, I had to swallow it. One of the things I did then when I resumed at his office was to put his chair beside mine, talking to him at intervals and telling him to supervise the work so that it wouldn’t crumble. I had two chairs in front of the table. I believed his presence must be all around me for the success of the job.

And where is the chair now?

We had to carry it away when it started peeling off. You know, no one was using it. It just started peeling off. It was how I felt then,  and that tells you the number of crazy things women do when they lose their loving husband. It is not an easy thing and I don’t pray for such for anyone.

But you have been able to run the office successfully. How have you been able to do this?

I owe that to God. You see when God commits one assignment to your hands, He makes available all the resources and the wherewithal to see you through. I have committed the job to His hands and He knew quite well that it wasn’t what I chose to do but since this is the plan of God for me right now, I am ready to gladly operate in it. The will of God most times is never palatable but doing it is always rewarding. Jesus Christ almost prayed that God readjust His will concerning salvation when he went to pray in the garden of Gethsemane. He wished that the cup of his painful death on the cross of Calvary be reversed but He was quick to caution himself when He said, ‘Father, but not my will but your will.’

What are the challenges you face on this job especially since you lost your husband?

Largely, it is finance. We don’t get as much help as he was getting while he was alive and this is quite painful and discouraging. Since his death, we have only been able to reach out to a very limited number of widows with money. We have many more seeking for assistance, even widowers and jobless parents, who are unable to feed their children. This is a burden in my heart especially when I knew there are many well-meaning Nigerians who can conveniently settle this case. But their doors are usually closed to these people. They are not allowed to even get close to them. We are trying to keep the flag he left flying but really, we cannot be as smart and cover as much ground as he would have if he were around. There are students whose school fees we shoulder and all of that in our own little ways and to the glory of God, but we could do more should we be more buoyant financially.

Tell us more about the widowhood foundation?

It was all his idea and dream. He started it before his death. He had this passion for them and made provisions for them at certain times before he died. I knew all about this and so, it was easy for me to apply with it after his death more especially because I now have an idea of how it feels to lose one’s husband. It is a foundation that caters for widows basically in the area of gifts like food and other financial assistance to get them empowered.

Would you say your husband had a premonition of his untimely death?

I wouldn’t know but I am sure he was one person, who had strong feelings for the needy. Maybe because of his kind of job where he had come in contact with many helpless people. He always wanted to give to the less privileged and this group of people really caught his attention.

READ ALSO:Farming more fulfilling than banking-Thompson-Ajayi, CEO, Obathomps Integrated Enterprise

How has this rubbed off on you as a widow?

I can boldly tell you that this gesture has really helped me and the children. We have enjoyed good gestures from individuals that we do not personally know since he died. Many have equally supported this vision and we have never lacked anything good. The children are doing well to the glory of God and we have not stopped connecting to his dream. It is indeed a confirmation of one good turn that always deserves another.

So many women don’t have it easy your way with their husband’s property after his death. What is the secret behind yours?

Nothing but the way God has helped him to handle his own matter. He had involved me in the job all along. So, it wasn’t any big deal for me to step into his shoes, although they are quite bigger for me. Also, it was not any strange thing for his workers to accept me as their new boss. I think that was the secret. He never kept anything away from me and that was why his work could live even after his demise. That’s my advice for any man who wants a good legacy after his departure whenever. Carry your wife along, teach and tutor her where necessary, it will help your family when you are gone.

How do you cope with the opposite sex?

God has been helping me but that is the time I remember him most because I would be forced to think that if he had not died, such an episode might not have occurred since I would have been at the background. But I see that as one of those things, I don’t allow it to destabilise me.