Following the complaints of some couples last week about their partners’ reluctance to kiss them in public, below are some tips to make it happen henceforth.
Take care of your lips
Rough lips are a turnoff. If your lips are all cracked and gross, she’s probably not going to want to kiss you. Try using lip balm regularly, and don’t be afraid to put a bit on leading up to the kiss.
You can discreetly put some lip gloss on by going to the bathroom or by looking away for a moment.
Don’t put too much on, as you don’t want to create an oil slick for kissing.
Pick a good place
Try to pick a romantic spot. For instance, in a park by a river is nice, much better than, say, the back alley behind a restaurant. Also, try to choose a place where there aren’t too many people around.
If people are milling around, it can kill the romance especially if you are both starters or one of you is.
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Try and touch
Cradle or touch her face. If you haven’t quite got up the nerve, even though you’ve asked, you can stall a bit by touching her face. You can also gentle tilt her head towards you so you can kiss her more easily.
Always be looking for signs of nonverbal communication
For instance, if you reach out to touch her and she pulls away, you should stop.
Lean in for the kiss
Once you’ve stopped and picked the perfect spot plus got her consent, it’s time to go in for the kiss. Lean in closer, puckering lips a bit as you go. You want to make sure they have some definition to them for kissing, so your partner has something to kiss.
If she pulls away, let her. When you’re ready, pull back again.
Relax into the kiss
If this relationship is still new, you may be a little nervous. If you are, don’t worry, the hard part is over. Just relax and enjoy the kiss.
Focus on enjoying the moment
Try not to think about whether you’re doing it right or what’s going to happen in a few minutes.
Keep your tongue under control
This tip is to help you out, not because of who’s standing around. That is, a little tongue is okay, but no one likes to be attacked by a tongue like a dog.
Keep it tasteful
For instance, you can try lightly licking across her lips, but try not to lap her whole face.
Apply your discretion
If you want to kiss your partner in public, you can but that doesn’t mean you can let that progress into a make-out session.
Kissing in public is fine as long as you don’t overdo it. Don’t use any tongue and don’t put your hands under your partner’s clothes. Anything more than a closed mouth kiss may start to make people uncomfortable.
Be aware of your surroundings
Kissing in public isn’t always acceptable. Even if you think no one is paying attention to you, it may not be a good time to start kissing. For example, just because you’re in a dark movie theatre, doesn’t mean it’s okay to start making out. You may be able to get away with a quick kiss on the cheek, but don’t push it because you think no one can see you.
Don’t use public affection as an ego boost
Kissing in public should be about sharing a kiss with someone you enjoy spending time with. Don’t use it as a way to communicate to the rest of the world that your partner is “taken.”
Discussing PDA with your partner
Find out what makes them uncomfortable. If your partner pulls away when you try to kiss in public, ask them about it. Be sensitive to their feelings and respect their opinion. Don’t make them feel like they have to kiss you in public.
Just because your partner doesn’t want to kiss you in public does not mean they are ashamed of you. It could be something as simple as not wanting to kiss in a certain location. For example, they may not want to kiss close to where they work or in front of their friends.
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Listen
There could be any number of reasons why your partner doesn’t want to kiss in public. Some reasons could be difficult to talk about. Maybe they didn’t get a lot of affection in previous relationships or maybe they feel that it’s a private matter.
When they finish speaking, reply with, “I understand why you feel this way.” Then, let your partner know your side of the issue. Don’t negate their feelings, but try to find out the underlying reasons for the problem.
Try to reach an understanding
Ask what your partner is comfortable doing in public. Assure them that you aren’t trying to make out with them in the middle of a large crowd.
If you reach a compromise and you both decide it’s okay to hold hands and kiss on the cheek, respect those boundaries. Don’t break your partner’s trust by doing anything more than what they’re comfortable doing.
Don’t let it get in the way of private intimacy
When you’re alone, let loose. Don’t let the issue of public affection get in the way of actually engaging each other.
In the privacy of your home, you should feel comfortable being affectionate. Tickle each other. Wrestle around and kiss. Keep things playful. After a while, some of that affection may spill out into the outside world.
So, dearies, you do not have to leave your heartthrob just because he or she is not into a public display of affection. Try and talk your desires out with each other, respect those desires and try as much as possible to go out of your way for your partner. That way, your relationship will have the zing it needs to make it fun.
