“I am 28-years-old. I am beautiful. At least, I get at least three people to tell me this on a daily basis, I mean both genders. And from the pictures I take regularly, I can for sure say I am beautiful. I have guys expressing their love every time and I know it took my present boyfriend a very tough time to get my consent to this relationship.
While we have been dating for about a year now, I have noticed that he doesn’t like to kiss me in the public. No matter the number of hours we spend out or how romantic the movie we watch is, he has never tried kissing me unless we are alone. I love to kiss, I want to kiss him so bad all the time and at such times but he won’t kiss me. At first, I thought maybe it was because we were just starting off the relationship and I do not want to be too forward. But it is well over a year now and the situation is still the same.
I love him and we are always the envy of our friends and other people but really, I am not enjoying this. It’s like I’m thirsty for him while he is not. I don’t want to leave him but as far as I am concerned, kissing is key in any relationship.
Bisi
How do I overcome this fear of kissing?
Dear Yemisi, I’ve read your writeup on kissing and others and I just decided to let you into a situation that is very personal to me. I am a grown-up woman and I have been involved with a couple of men. The issue I have is that all the while, I only let him kiss me goodbye whenever the situation calls for it. We cuddle and do all that other kinds of stuff but I want to tell you that I do not let him kiss me.
I’m always afraid that I’m a terrible kisser and truly I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my lips while kissing. I don’t want to make a fool of myself in the public, so, I don’t even try it at all. Now, I have discovered that my guy doesn’t even make the attempt again and I am really uncomfortable with this. How do I go about this? The last thing I want is to lose him to another girl.
Rose
I got the two contributions last week and I think it will be right to respond to them this week.
Unless you are in Dubai where it is against the rule of the land to show affection in public because it makes certain types of people uncomfortable, the best way to express true feelings towards your lover is by kissing him or her in the public.
But if you feel strongly that your man loves you but just restraining himself from kissing you in public places, a number of reasons may be responsible. For all you care he may not kiss you because he is afraid of showing weakness in front of the people out there. Forget about those bold talks, great physique, cool jobs and the brilliant arguments, your guy may be shy of such intimate expression.
See, being well educated and expressive is far different from being romantically informed. Besides, most men have this funny image, which they hold on to in the public and by kissing girls, some of them think other men see them as being weak. This, however, is wrong but if he is the timid and conservative one, you may need to sit him down, talk about it and set the pace. Help him out.
He may also be feeling unsure of himself, so he lacks the confidence to show public affection. What you should do is to boost up his confidence. He needs to know that he is loved truly. You must be touching each other way too little. More touching and soon he will have more confidence. I know intercourse, of course, boosts his confidence quickly. So, if you help him with that, you will get your public kisses.
To kiss your partner in public places, learn the following tips:
Find a convenient spot
You have to find the right spot, and you have to make sure your girlfriend is okay with showing affection in public. However, once you’ve done those things, kissing your partner in the public can be an exciting experience that adds a little zing to your relationship.
Have a conversation with your girlfriend about public displays of affection (PDA), preferably before you are out in public. You could start off with something like, “I really like showing affection towards you in public. How about us trying it during our next outing?”
If she’s not okay with it, don’t try to coerce her to kiss you while in public.
It could be awkward if she isn’t as into you as you think, plus you could make her feel uncomfortable in public.
While you might think it’s a grand romantic gesture, it could have a negative effect of turning her away from you if she’s uncomfortable.
Skip kissing in professional situations
In professional situations, you want to keep the PDA to a minimum, as many people do not consider it to be appropriate. If you’re picking your girlfriend up from work, for instance, you probably don’t want to French kiss her in the middle of the office.
You can probably get away with a peck on the cheek or forehead.
Don’t push it too far
When kissing your lover in public, keep it fairly chaste. That is, don’t have a full-on making-out session. Keep it to a few seconds and mostly skip the tongue and petting.
In addition, keeping it light helps you not cross any legal boundaries. If you keep it to light kissing, holding hands and hugging, you should be fine.
Make sure you’re fresh
No one likes to kiss an ashtray or a mouth full of onion and garlic flavour. Pop a breath mint in before you attempt kissing her.
It also wouldn’t hurt to do a quick check-up in a mirror first, if possible, to make sure you don’t have anything in your teeth.
If no mirror is available, run your tongue around your teeth to make sure they’re clean.
