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Why parents are responsible for rising suicide incidents

Although the saying that ” the youths are the strength and future of the nation,” is familiar to everyone in the country, the number of youths that have  reportedly committed suicide lately has become alarming.

Unlike many decades ago when young men and women are ready to face any form of challenge no matter how tough, today’s youths find it hard to stand challenges as minor as disappointments in relationships, failure in academics even loneliness.

So, while distressed individuals over physical challenges such as blindness and other deformities as hunch backs endeavour to live their life in full, students who could not pass certain examinations or are rejected by their lovers simply take succour in ending it all by committing suicide.

Wondering aloud about the issue, two aged men were shocked that death has become so cheap that young people do not think twice before killing themselves.

“In those days when we suffer a disappointment, we see it as a lesson and strive to get better in the areas where we fall. That is why the adage that says when a man falls off a horse, he does not mind, he still gets up and climb it,” said one of them.

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Unhappy about the development, some psychologists have however blamed parents for the upsurge. Dr. Bambo Oyeleye was one of them.

According to her, most parents due to their daily busy schedule do not spend quality time to tutor and build the virtue of self-confidence in their children.

“Most parents of nowadays hardly have time to train their children about issues of life. Many work, work and work just to accrue money and spend it quite lavishly on their children forgetting that children who are not well brought up will not be able to manage any money,” she said.

This explains why there are lots of these youths in various kinds of crime just for the take.

She observed that if parents would go the extra mile to teach and ensure that their children learn, most youths will become better strong-willed to face life challenges.

From the comments of two older men, they wondered aloud women found in all kinds of crimes at which Nigerian youths have been Every parents or caregivers want their children to grow strong and become a pride to We also want them to have healthy confidence and self-esteem. One major thing that most parents should do is to avoid some actions of ours that we mostly engage in. This is because sometimes, despite our intentions that we usually think is best for these children  we  actually hurt their  confidence and self-esteem instead of helping it.

Below are the five major ways through which parents kill their children’s confidence:

When you compare them to others

Instead of motivating your child to improve, comparing them with others will most likely make them have low self-esteem. It is never a good idea to draw comparisons between siblings or those within their peer group. Children need to know that they are accepted and loved for who they are, not because they are better or not as “good” as another. It is wrong to make them feel like they have to act like someone else to get your approval.

When you are always solving their problems for them

Constantly solving a child’s problems or correcting their mistakes deprives them of a chance to learn, mature and develop self-confidence. This will ruin their chances of developing the skills and confidence required to navigate through life. When children solve their problems by themselves even if they do not get it right, it is a great way to learn problem-solving skills. This will go a long way to strengthen them emotionally and psychologically.

If you are you in the habit of speaking up for your child even when they are old enough to speak for themselves.

This can make your child become withdrawn and lose confidence in their ability to speak for themselves. Allowing your child to express themselves both in private and in public will build their strong will.

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If you are always shouting and nagging about their mistakes

Shouting at your children when helping them out with homework or teaching them a skill can kill their confidence. As a parent, you should be patient with your child, correct them in love and allow them to learn from their mistakes. If you don’t do this, when you ask them a question in the future,they will be too scared to answer Always correct them with care and make them feel that they can do it. But don’t over-pamper them. Teaching your child to accept mistakes and failures positively is a good way to go about things.

Making fun of their physical differences:

Viewing children physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected or changed usually  gives the child a permanently poor body and self-image.  Whether we like it or not, most often than not, name-calling affects children’s self-esteem.

Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity.

Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes.

Forcing your lifestyle, beliefs  over them

” Parents who plan their children’s lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond stand to make them nothing but weaklings,'” pointed Oyeleye. Such children grow to be   dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. Many people are living their parents’ lives, not their own authentic lives, much to their regret.

It is okay to set some boundaries and steer your child in a direction you’d like to see them go in, but let them have some independence. Support the choices they make and the lifestyles they want to live.

Denying them your attention:

Children need and crave love and affection that only their parents can give. Not being there for your children creates emotional emptiness in them. Some of these children crave and look for a “mother” and “father” figure in other people which could sometimes lead to abuse and other criminal tendencies.

Dedicating time and quality attention to the well- beimg of children while they are still at the formative years will go a long way at building youths that the nation will be proud of.

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