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TALKING S*X: What you miss making love with the light off

Have you ever cared to ask some adults about the way they prefer going about their lovemaking? Like do they love to have it with the light fully on or without it? If you had, you would have discovered that a large number of them opted for having it without the light on. But why? Is it that partners still go shy about each other’s nakedness after saying ‘I do’ or after several years of being together? I am worried, otherwise, why should couples hide the smallest of the mark or anything on any part of their bodies?

Well, most ladies that I spoke with are simply against the idea. Mrs Pat Ogbonna, a banker once was one of them. She said: “I hate it when my man moves to switch the light off anytime we want to make love and I have told him. It gives me the feeling that we are doing something bad or that he has something to hide. But, then he feels better having it without the lights.”

“I can’t understand why men feel better when they have sex without turning the light on. I have forced my man a few times and I saw that he felt better without light, so, I let it be,” says Lady Eunny, another friend.

“I feel they get weirder when the light is off and they do not always want you to be seen. But what is the big deal?”‘asked Brenda Lawrence, another woman.

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Meanwhile, I spoke with about 12 men and they all preferred performing the ‘act’ without the light on. Is it a ritual?

For your information, sex therapists say if you find yourself turning off the lights every time you’re ready to have sex with your partner, you need to stop. Besides rating your action as an indication of insecurity or imperfection, they believe you’re missing out on a lot by only getting down in the dark. Some of the fun you deny yourself of are as follows.


  1. The sensual effect of the visual side of sex

If you can see your partner’s amazing body clearly while in the mood or the act itself, it can help you feel even more turned on in the moment. It also means your partner will get to indulge fully in you, even if you’re not feeling as confident that day. But if you choose to dwell in the shadow of darkness, you will be denied this and the fun of that moment can be suddenly cut off especially where the mind is allowed to helplessly drift to several things troubling you.


  1. Light-on sex boosts your body confidence.

If you feel low about your appearance, it will affect your performance in bed. It can make sex a more nerve-wracking experience than it should be. Although you should never have sex in the light if you aren’t comfortable with it, if you hide away from your body forever, your body confidence won’t have a chance to flourish. So, try and take bold steps and introduce a little more light into the bedroom each time you have sex, and you’ll start to appreciate all the wonderful things that make you in no time.


  1. It makes sex less awkward

Have you ever imagined having to bump into each other at a time like that? I mean, do you have to make it so? The main problem with having sex in the dark is the unbearable awkwardness that can come about from not being able to see what you’re doing. It can be a huge turn-off when you’ve bumped heads five times already or when you just can’t find where the bed is.


  1. May lead to an unnecessary accident.

I am sure you wouldn’t want anything going where you don’t expect it to go. You also don’t want to accidentally hit your partner where it hurts when you’re trying to get into the right position. I mean that won’t in any way be considered sexy.


  1. You can get more adventurous

Without the light being on, it is difficult for any of you to be adventurous.  When you or your partner is trying something new and you are privy to it, it can be fun. You know, trying to see what he or she is up to can all be fun and trigger off a sweet sensation in you both. Don’t forget that the visual side of this can add a whole new element to your sex life.


  1. Makes room for more intimacy.

If you want to feel very close to your partner and become as intimate as possible, you should leave the light on next time. There’s nothing better than seeing the expression on your partner’s face when you make them feel amazing.

All in all, while the fact that seeing everything in all its glory remains good and very effective, a relationship expert, Mrs Doris Obi says since cutting off one sense usually help to enhance the others, turning off the light while having sex will temporarily rob you of seeing but will, on the other hand, boost your remaining senses. No wonder some people still feel much more stimulated in the dark. “Having the lights off can help you let go and avoid getting caught up in thoughts about your physical appearance,” she says

To avoid total darkness and total light-on, you can put on warm, glowing candles to set the mood and make your body look even better than it already does. Having low or dark-coloured light on can also create a romantic setting.