Most times, when love takes us over, we are likely to be blind to some flaws of our partners. Love is strong and has the tendency to take us over, sweep us off our feet and set aside or put at the very background our common sense.
You just find yourself giving all kinds of excuses for the wrongs of your partner, which are constantly rearing their heads at every given time. Instead of you to promptly address it, you just find yourself bending unconsciously, backwards to accommodate him into your life with his faults. That is a major thing love can do to its victim. Well, love, the Holy Bible says conquers all; you would say to anyone, who sees such faults and they simply keep their mouth shut since you have refused all caution.
But as soon as marriage is contracted, the scales suddenly fall off your eyes and you gradually begin to wonder where your right sense of judgment was all the while you were courting with him. That’s it; marriage has a way of waking everyone up from the blindness of love and revealing the deepest secrets people have.
Of all bad traits that any man can have, stinginess is worst. If he does not have money but is generous, a woman can manage, hoping that things will one day become better. But where a woman knows that her man is buoyant but is never willing to give, it becomes a big issue.
If you are still blinded by love and you are not too sure that your man is stingy, try and check out these practices. If he is guilty of them all, then, you need to wake up from your deep slumber.
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“Stingy men,” according to Mrs. Nkem Okoro, the Chief Executive Officer of ‘The Wife’, “are known to be hard to let go a coin off their pocket. They do everything possible to have every coin they earn spent just by themselves. It is difficult for them to give out their money no matter how little.”
Other signals are:
– Prefers the house for dates. Whenever there is a need for the two of you to out on a date, his ideal date is at your home where you can catch a movie, prepare tea for him with lots of popcorn, all will be your efforts, not his. He makes this choice to avoid cost of visiting a cinema, a supermarket or buy a movie ticket, drinks or incurring any cost that he may not be able to resist because of the presence of people.
– Finds it tough to bring out cash. When his wife asks for some cash, he slacks at giving out the money until you find a way around it. At times, he outrightly declines to give the cash with no tangible reason, not because he doesn’t have the money but because he is just stingy.
– Even at gun point, he can never buy drinks for his buddies. He is at the receiving end of every outing every time.
– He settles to shop at cheap places. His argument is that things are always expensive and might have expired at supermarkets. He is not telling the truth; he is just afraid that you may want to do impulseive buying.
– He does not do cabs. Whether it’s end of month or he has just picked some extra money, he can never take a taxi. He believes it’s a waste of money. It doesn’t matter whether it’s necessary or not, whether you are pregnant or carrying a baby under the scorching sun or not, he just doesn’t do cabs.
– He prefers long walks, as a way of bonding with his loved one. Even when it is against your own wish, he insists that it’s good to see nature in its goodness than to spend time in noisy clubs or crowded places.
– He never gives his folks money; never supports his siblings. He insists that he needs to develop himself. He is forever broke and lacking personal development.
– Cannot give his woman airtime. He does not buy just an airtime for you on his own. Even when you ask, he sees you as being childish and waves it off with the back of his hands. When he finally gives, he gives you the exact amount or buys it by himself. He refuses to give cash.
– Does not believe in going on vacations. He believes going for holiday is a reserve for the rich. He has never thought of saving for a holiday retreat.
– It is very rare for his girlfriend to find some loose change in his pocket. He makes sure he empties his pockets before putting his clothes in the laundry bag.
– Mentioning buying something new is like a taboo. When you mention you want something new, it is like world war three to him. He cannot understand what is wrong with your old clothes, shoes and old things. He appreciates old things and sees no reason to spend money on expensive things.
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So, you end up saving your own money or window shopping in silence. He tries to fix things plenty times before agreeing to buy a new one. It could be something very cheap but if it is fixable, he will offer to buy parts first before a new one. You will tell him getting a new one is better in the long run but he only judges it from the option, which involves him parting with the least money. So, you end up managing things that are already on their last legs.
Helping a woman out of this kind of situation, Mrs. Okoro said is difficult because “it is his nature but making an attempt is not out of place.”
Find time to let him know how you feel.
Calling him into a discussion is one attempt you must make. Although there are some husbands that know you need the money but still don’t want to spend. there are some that may not know that you are in any need or that you are not happy with the situation.
Ask your relatives for money in his presence
No man wants to be ridiculed. Calling any of your relative for a financial need while he is seated will send an instructive message to him. Taking this step is likely to call him to order. Make sure you have discussed the need with him over and over before that time.
Buy him special gifts and present it in the presence of his children, friends or any close person living with you.
This will make him feel bad, as those people can one day ask whether he gives you gifts at all. Likewise, offer to take him and your family friends out. Settle the bill and encourage other families to do same at their own time. This will force him out of his stingy shell.
Be empowered
No woman can survive well with a stingy man. It is important that you find a way of empowering yourself to be able to take care of your needs and that of your children. If you don’t, you are likely to be frustrated while waiting for him to change from his not- too- good nature.
His nature.Being married to a stingy man is never a funfair. If you are still single or in courtship, if the tell signs are visible, it is advisable that you avoid him to avoid future pain.
