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Men secret s*x fear

Do you know that a guy’s greatest fear is really not about a getting sex? No, it is not. If you must know, for many of them, once they realised that the game is on, there are whole new sets of worries that usually and unconsciously engulf them. So, when you see them break into some cold sweat, these are some of the reasons behind it.

He’s is afraid of satisfying his girl:

Okay, you think because men have no one worries about their stretch marks cellulite, or even their shape, you think they do not inwardly feel insecure? Well, they do.

Mr. David  one of the many fans of this column from Ikoyi, Lagos, sent this to me: “I have just met this beautiful lady. She is very intelligent and quite expressive. The first night we were going to share together, dear Yemisi, I was very anxious and restless. I must satisfy this lady because she is not the kind of person, who will pity you if you fall below her standard. She may not be harsh but she will let you know you have really not been impressive. So, earlier that day, I branched at a video club to get some erotic movies to get me prepared ahead of time.  After few hours of watching the film, my situation got worse. I mean, I became more worried. In my mind, I was like, would I ever be able to perform like the man in the movie? I instantly became inadequate. Meanwhile, the time was drawing close and the girl would soon come. I was almost calling to give her an excuse because I knew it was going to be a bad day, I was going to disappoint her. But, I could not do it. You won’t believe that I started praying inwardly. I have fallen in love with this girl; we have become close and built some good relationship. I did not want to disappoint her. I was so happy when she called that it was raining heavily in their area. I quickly told her to stay back, that it would be dangerous for her to set out since our own area was flooded too. But do you know that it was all a lie? Yes, it was. I needed time to prepare more. I had a car that I could have used to pick her but I just lied. Well, I have escaped for that day. What about the next time, which I believe, will soon be.  Please, how can I overcome this? She is not my first girlfriend,” he wrote.

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 Way Out

My response to this is, since you have no erectile issue, you just need to be relaxed. There is no need to nurse any unrealistic expectation. You may want to step up your game but you should just be smart and well calculated. Don’t be all out to impress anyone. I mean you have been doing it, so, why not now or again? Stay positive, keep things real, do not depend on movies or use what you watch in movies to set standards for yourself.

He’s worried about safe sex

Except there is an assurance of safety, most men get worried about this when they are about to make love.  They always panic, especially about the risks of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

To solve this issue, I advise that you initiate safe sex discussions to minimise the risk of pregnancy or acquiring a sexually transmitted disease instead of fretting inwardly and spoiling fun for each other. Use a condom consistently and correctly. To avoid the risk entirely, abstain – at least until you’ve had a chance to discuss contraceptive and/or get tested for any infections either of you could be carrying.

He’s afraid of commitment

While most men see no big deal in having sex with their partners, women do. For men, once they ask and they are offered, they go ahead. For women, it is a big, big deal. They see it as a way of commitment and this scares many men.

“I have once gotten  myself into a kind of trap with a girl. Immediately we made love, I could no longer breathe, do anything my own way again. She was all over me and my place. So frustrating. She was a great girl, but the second we slept together, she became a commitment maniac. She started calling me her boyfriend, talking about meeting my family. I freaked out and bailed,” wrote a guy, Joseph, from Ipaja, Lagos.

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He’s worried about his size

“Women cannot possibly imagine the pressure we feel  to blow their mind in bed. I want to be a sex god,” says Eddie, 28, also from Ipaja. “But in my head, when I had this new girl, I got thinking, ‘What if the last guy she slept with was bigger? What if I can’t get it up? What if I can’t get her off?’ The pressure almost drove me mad.”

Many men fret about the size of their member. They fear that they may not measure up to their partners’ satisfaction or that their member may be intimidating.

To get over these size issues, it’s important that they feel at home with their endowment and do a lot of talking about this long before the ‘time’ comes. Meanwhile, they should try as much as possible to be able to make use of their instrument well enough to please their women no matter how it is formed.

NB: We will draw the curtain here this week, if there is any other fear any man is nursing before making love to her women and he wants to share, please send to the number on this column. Until then, keep having fun.

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