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How to save your child from kidnappers

On March 6, 2019 at  3:49pm, a woman, Christiana Onuchukwu, was arrested in Fadeyi area of Lagos State, for allegedly having in her custody two children, who were declared missing five years ago. One of them, a six-year-old boy, was a son of a blind woman, who had to relocate to the northern part of the country, after losing hope of ever finding the child.

The boy was said to have been abducted in Ebute-Metta area of the state. The second child, identified simply as Ikimot, reported at the Denton Police Station that her guardian was not her mother, neither was she related to her in any way.  The 12-year-old girl disclosed that she was abducted from her parents’ home when she was seven years and brought to the suspect’s place. She added that she never had contact with her parents since she was taken away from them. She was said to have begged the police to help reunite her with her parents.

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Strangely, when a team of detectives got to the suspect’s residence at 1 Ogati Street, Fadeyi, Lagos, another 11-year-old boy alleged to have also been abducted, was found in her custody.

Well, the children must have been reunited with their parents and the suspect charged to court for conspiracy, abduction and child stealing but the issue and incidents of child kidnap and abduction have been on the increase.

Currently, this issue is a frightening reality and every parent’s nightmare, but there should be a way around it. Below are some tips that parents and guardians should consider to stem the tide.

Encourage them not to walk home alone

Children are very trusting and need to be taught the dangers of strangers. With almost 2000 children reported missing last year alone, parents need to be vigilant and proactively teach their children how they can protect themselves and be an active player in preventing kidnapping. Educate them of the dangers of walking home from school alone; they should walk in groups.

Your children should be aware of their surroundings and should know when something or someone is out of the ordinary.

Many kids listen to music on their phones or keep their head down, looking at videos, Facebook or other social media while they walk home from school or to a friend’s house.

They will never know if someone is following them with this distraction. People have become so distracted and are immersed in their phones so much that they have walked into the sides of buses and cars while crossing the street or have been run over by a vehicle backing out of the driveway.  This problem is becoming more recurrent, as technology distracts us when we should be paying attention the most.

Teach your children to watch who is walking on the street and which vehicles are driving on the street on their way home.

Your child should be aware, however, of a slow car that is driving up to them or slightly behind them, as they are walking. This is not normal and should be something they should be concerned about.

Let them know that kidnappers don’t look like kidnappers. This may sound strange but most kidnappers can actually be family members and are likely not the weird-looking person they probably have in their minds or at the back of their heads as pictures.  They may even be ex-husbands or wives or disgruntled parents, who don’t have visitation rights, who may talk with your child in an attempt to reconnect with them. They may not kidnap them on the first contact, in an attempt to build rapport and gain their trust. They would rather do it quietly so that your child does not begin to kick or scream, an action that would bring unwanted attention to them.

Ensure that your children know your phone numbers off-hand. Keep the lines of communication open between you and your children. They should know your cell phone number, home phone number as well as their own address. Tell them they can trust you. The best relationship between a parent and their child is when they trust you enough to share anything with you that makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s important to know when something or someone is bothering your child.

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Warn them against taking gifts from strangers.

Make it a standing rule that none of your kids take anything from strangers.  If a stranger offers them anything, instill it in them to always check with you first.  Let them not accept any gift in your absence.

Keep friends close

If your child is going to a place they’ve never been to before or aren’t that well familiar with, it’s advisable they take a trusted friend along.

Teach them not to accept any job offer from anyone. Whenever anyone asks them to do any assignment for them, tell them to decline the odd job offer. Kids aren’t likely to receive job offers, so consider it strange if your child does. Tell them to always turn them down no matter what the request is about.

Monitor their online deals. Make them understand you’re not deliberately spying. If your child is still young and vulnerable, it could be a good idea to monitor what they do online.  That’s where the predators usually lurk. Just make it clear it’s not an excuse for you to snoop through their private messages or interactions.

Speed and noise are key

If someone is chasing your child or forcing them into a car, teach them to use the best reaction, which is to scream and make a dash for it, provided the attacker doesn’t have a dangerous weapon.

Establish a plan of action.

In the event your child gets lost in a busy public space, they’ll know what to do or where to meet you.

“The last thing you want to do is instill a sense of fear in your child but a healthy awareness of the upsurge of kidnap in the nation could end up saving children’s lives,” says Rosaline Ibe, a Child Psychologist.

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